I forgive you...but do I forgive myself?

Posted by Michael Loucks on

You know, I promised my self that I would not get all deep and philosophical on this blog, but I guess at some point, I'll end up breaking that rule, because sometimes, that is just who I am. So it might as well be now...

I got a video call this morning from my 86 year old father who summers in Maine. He had just seen my website and my blog and he wanted to call and talk. My Dad and I have not always had the best relationship. As a matter of fact, at one point, in my then young and foolish mind at least, it wasn't even really a relationship. But as of late, we are working on it. Well, I should fess up and say I am working on it, because honestly, if I am honest, he's been working on it my entire life. I guess it took me until this year to realize that the man I looked up to, the man I thought was supposed to be perfect and teach me everything about life was, after all, just a man. And the person who needed to change all this time was not him. It was and is me.

And while I said I forgave what happened many years ago, I guess I never really let it go. It's one thing to tell someone you forgive, but until you really do...until you can honestly say that you have moved on, forgiveness is incomplete.And when forgiveness is incomplete, darkness wins. It spreads through you like a venomous snake bite, poisoning your mind and spirit. Limiting your ability to truly live, to truly love, to truly celebrate.

I finally forgave myself and as a result, I have my Dad back. He never left. He never stopped reaching out. He never stopped trying to connect with me at some level. But until I could forgive me, I was not capable of accepting his extended hand and was not capable of accepting his love. It feels good to call him Dad again...

What about it folks- are you harboring a need to forgive? Try it, it is an amazing relief of darkness and sorrow from your soul. 

Forgive - Live - Celebrate



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